Turning 32

My 32nd year was not exactly what I pictured... but I think that was the case for all of us. 2020 has been a wild ride, y'all. But I'm really hoping things are looking up (or will be soon) where the pandemic is concerned, and we'll finally start feeling safe enough in 2021 to start venturing farther outside our homes again.

Here are some of my hopes/goals for my 33rd year, leading up to turning 33 on December 20, 2021:

• Stay healthy while we all ride out the end of this pandemic.
• Successfully move in to our new house, organize and unpack everything, and make it feel like home for us, our daughter, and our dog.
• Prepare our old house for the housing market and sell it.
• Find a groove again with creating artwork - I was doing well for awhile, and making sure to prioritize working on colored pencil drawings while our daughter was sleeping... but then we decided to move, and in the process of packing everything and planning for the new house, my art fell by the wayside again for this last part of 2020. Once we're all moved into the new house, with a new art studio, art will begin again!
• Submit my artwork to be shown in various local art exhibitions or art shows. I had grand plans to do this in 2020 (after I settled in to motherhood a bit) - but then the pandemic hit, and what few art exhibitions were still happening in-person were not things I felt safe participating in. Here's hoping 2021 will be better!
• Start working part-time as a graphic designer again, too. I had planned to continue working from home for Temple Israel as a contract designer after our daughter was born - but then with the pandemic, they were hosting a lot fewer events and had much lower needs for graphic designers this past year than anticipated. I'd love to start designing graphics again - if not for Temple Israel, then for others. My new studio in the new house is going to be big enough to fit my easel and tables for watercolors and colored pencil drawings AND my computer desk, and I'm so stoked to be able to work on all aspects of my creative work from a single room in the house.
• And of course - watch our daughter continue to amaze as she grows every day! She'll turn one in less than two weeks, and I'm so excited to see what her 2nd year brings!

Turning 30

30 is a big one - simply because our society likes base ten and thinks of any age or anniversary ending in zero as "a big one," and not actually because anything TRULY changes. Still, I'm not above such sentimentality, so I've taken turning 30 as an excuse to reflect back on my 20s and make plans for my next decade.

Turns out when you look at an entire decade, it's easy to feel accomplished. You can do a LOT in ten years! My 20s were no exception; they were certainly my most accomplished decade yet, if not likely my most accomplished decade I'll ever have (depending on how you define such things). I experienced many milestones that are universally considered significant in my 20s - as many do - but I also had some great experiences that were meaningful on a more personal level, too. 

My 20s included*:

*a non-exhaustive list

SCHOOL & PROFESSIONAL ADVENTURES

• Finishing my thesis and earning the thesis award
• Graduating with highest honors from EMU and earning a double-concentration BFA in Graphic Design and Watercolor, with a minor in Art History
• Working at EMU Campus Life
• Working at Charming Charlie
• Working as a substitute teacher
• Working as a graphic designer at Temple Israel
• Working as a freelance custom invitation designer for several weddings and bar/bat mitzvahs
• Being flown to Denver to be interviewed for L'Art Erotique, a Quebec art TV show
• Selling my artwork on Etsy and at Paint Creek Center for the Arts
• Creating artwork commissions for family, friends, and strangers
• Showing work at EMU art galleries, the Detroit Scarab Club, the Canton Village Theater, the Carr Center, and the Grosse Pointe War Memorial

TRAVEL ADVENTURES

• Going on a Mediterranean cruise with my soon-to-be-husband's family
• Honeymooning on the Greek islands of Santorini and Mykonos
• Taking a road trip out west with friends
• Nearly annual trips to Virginia Beach
• Visiting Universal Resort's Harry Potter World in Florida
• Spending eight days visiting museums and seeing plays in New York City

PERSONAL ADVENTURES

• Getting engaged
• Planning a wedding and getting married
• Buying a house and moving to Rochester Hills
• Completing lots of home improvement projects, including new bathrooms, patio, roof, siding, insulation, and windows
• Adopting a puppy
• Prioritizing self-care and self-esteem building
• Being diagnosed with diabetes and starting insulin
• Getting a tattoo
• Getting pregnant

Of course, there were some not-so-great experiences with the great ones. Some of the items on the list above were challenging times (or led to challenging times) - but I wanted to include those moments as well, because they have helped shape me into the 30-year-old I am. Of course I wish I was never diagnosed with diabetes, or that my first pregnancy hadn't ended in miscarriage - but I can't change those things; I can only change how I feel about them. As for things I DID have some control over, even at the time - things like jobs I worked or decisions I made or paths I pursued: I don't tend to feel regret about my past; I don't tend to think of anything as a "mistake." Instead I romanticize challenges as Things I've Survived, focusing on what I gained or learned from them. If I had my 20s to do over again, I'd probably do it all over again in a very similar, if not identical, way. Sure, there are some things I wish I'd figured out earlier - like how to prioritize and take care of myself more - but I'm getting there. It's all part of my journey, which, being MY journey, I get to do at my own pace.

I started trying to make a list of things I'd like to accomplish in my 30s, but it's hard to think that far into the future. There are some obvious choices for things to put on the list - things I want immediately or soon, and hope to accomplish in the next few years. But then what goals should I make for the REST of my 30s, after I complete those? It's hard to imagine what my goals will be for the years I'm 37, 38, 39... 

But here are my immediate goals and priorities, the things I'm already working towards, thinking about, planning, setting the stage for, etc.:

• Having artwork shown in more galleries/exhibitions
• Getting a novel published
• Getting pregnant again; having children
• Doing "short vacations" around North America (e.g. returning to Stratford, Ontario for more theater experiences; finally seeing the Tulip Festival in Holland, Michigan; taking long weekend trips to interesting cities around the U.S. I haven't been to yet)
• Doing more home improvements (e.g. adding built-ins to the living room and/or dining room; renovating the kitchen)

I'm sure I will add so much more to the list as my 30s wear on and I come up with more ideas, more things to pursue.

A lot of people fear turning 30 (or 40, or 50, or 60, or whatever they've decided is their arbitrary designation of Real Adulthood or Old Age), but I'm not one of those people. I'm not immune to the existential anxieties that come from starting a new decade; I just try to find other things to focus on instead. I find things to look forward to, things to dream about, goals to write down. And I also like to send presents into the future to myself - things that can help me get through potentially challenging times. When I was 23, I wrote myself a letter to open on my 30th birthday. I wrote another such letter when I was 26. I sealed these letters in envelopes and put them in my desk drawer; I see them every time I open that drawer to grab a stamp or address label. By now, I've totally forgotten what I wrote, and I'm really excited to read them all again. I am so anxious to see what stupid and wise things I wrote to myself, what questions I wanted to know, and what I was hoping to accomplish by 30 or feel at 30. It will be like rediscovering a lost corner of my mind, it will deepen and bolster my sense of self, and it will contribute to the narrative of my life I am continually writing and rewriting. As a result of those time-traveling letters, then, my primary emotion associated with turning 30 is not anxiety about growing older, but excited anticipation.

So naturally I'm doing it for when I turn 40 as well. Just today I wrote a letter and sealed it in an envelope: "Do not open until your 40th birthday - December 20, 2028!"

Yellow Nursery Stripes

One of the things I was most looking forward to as I planned for expanding our family was painting yellow "ombre" stripes on the walls of the room that would become the nursery. I wanted to do five or six stripes (we decided on five), with the lightest yellow for the top stripe and a medium-dark yellow for the bottom stripe, and gradual shades of yellow slowly getting darker in between.

The room was originally being used as an extra storage room, so earlier in the summer my husband and I went through and moved everything out, throwing old useless items out (or recycling them when possible) and finding new places in the house to keep other items. We also took down the closet doors because I wanted to have an open closet for the nursery, and got rid of the old floorboards and closet door trim, which were falling apart and/or had paint drips all over them. I wasn't pregnant yet when we started our organization/remodeling project, but we were planning to start trying and were hoping I would be soon.

I was pregnant before the room was ready to paint. I'd been looking forward to painting it - but I was also concerned, now that I was in the first trimester of pregnancy, about inhaling paint fumes. I read probably a dozen articles online, most of which said the types of painting used for interior walls today is harmless and fine to use during pregnancy. But there were a few that cautioned against painting too much during the first trimester, when all of the baby's important organs were forming, and being overly cautious I decided to wait until I was past my twelfth week. We put our painting project on hold.

Then I had a miscarriage (which I discussed at length in this earlier post). I tried to "do everything right" and avoided inhaling paint fumes - but I still miscarried anyway. I didn't think much about that nursery for a couple weeks as I went through the initial emotions and stress and went forward with getting a D&C procedure. But once I was feeling physically recovered, I realized I still really wanted to paint that future nursery. It was late September. I wanted to paint it before the weather got too cold, so I could paint with the window open. I wanted to paint it before I got pregnant again, so I didn't have to worry again about inhaling the fumes during the first trimester. Most importantly though, I wanted to paint it as part of my healing process.

Maybe it seems weird to plan and paint a nursery when I wasn't pregnant anymore, but to me it felt meaningful. (And I only cried a little while I was doing it...) It was a conscious decision to look toward the future, to embrace my dreams of parenthood, and try to believe that I would get pregnant again and we would have children someday. I don't know when we'll have a baby sleeping in that room - but whenever it happens, the walls are already painted and ready.

My husband helped with the measurements. It turned out our floor wasn't totally level, so we made all the measurements from the same corner of the room, and then used a long level to draw straight lines out from there around the perimeter. I selected five colors of yellow - two from one swatch and three from another swatch. The names were (from lightest/top stripe to darkest/bottom stripe): Lemon White, Meringue, Storm Lightning, Solar Energy, and Radiant Sun. We bought a quart of each color.

Once we had our stripes measured and marked in pencil, we used painter's tape to get straight lines. I planned to paint the top, middle, and bottom stripes first.

We had already painted the ceiling white and had a ceiling fan/light installed several weeks earlier. We put a line of tape on the edge of the ceiling, and then on the bottom of the topmost pencil line. For the middle stripe, the painters tape went above the higher stripe outline and below the lower stripe outline. For the bottom stripe, the tape went above the stripe outline. We also covered the outlets, light switch, and the edges of the door and window frames with tape. Finally, I threw diagonal strips of tape up on the second and fourth stripes - the stripes I was NOT painting during this first step, so that I wouldn't accidentally start painting those and waste paint on the wrong stripe.

I painted the top stripe first, followed by the middle stripe (which was closest in color to the yellow the walls were already painted), and then the bottom stripe. That was painting day #1.

Then next morning, I pulled off all the tape (except the ones covering the outlets, light switch, and window and door frames) and put up new tape. (My dog Ginny was upset to see that I was still working on this project instead of paying attention to her.)

This time the painters tape marked the top and bottom edges of the second and fourth stripes. I again put diagonal pieces on the stripes I was NOT going to paint that day (the three stripes I had already completed) so that I wouldn't accidentally start painting one of those instead. Because I was now painting against stripes I'd already finished, I also put two layers of painters tape up, so I would be less likely to accidentally spill paint over the tape and onto the finished stripes.

I painted the second stripe from the top, and then the fourth stripe from the top. That was painting day #2.

On painting day #3, I pulled all of the tape off and went around by hand making touch-ups in the few spots where a little bit of paint leaked through/under the tape and onto another stripe. (Ginny was once again upset to see that I was STILL painting instead of paying attention to her.)

When all the paint was dry, my husband installed a new light switch and light switch cover, and new outlets and baby-proof sliding outlet covers. (The old ones were all cream-colored, and I wanted white.) We also had new white baseboards and white trim around the closet doorway installed by a handyman.

Here's the finished product!

Obviously there's still a lot to do before it'll be a nursery (not least of which is - get pregnant again). Right now there's only an area rug and two wooden bookcases in there. But I love, love, LOVE how the yellow ombre stripes turned out. They're just what I wanted for our future nursery.

Bathroom Color Scheme & Artwork

A big project we undertook in 2017 was to have our guest bathroom renovated. This is the nicest, largest bathroom of our house, but one that doesn't often get used (yet). We also have a powder room on the main floor and a small bathroom off the master bedroom (which just has a standing shower - not a tub). We replaced the toilets and vanities in each of the three bathrooms, and completely overhauled the large guest bathroom with new tile, new cabinets and counters, new sinks and faucets, a new tub, new lighting, new toilet, new mirrors, and new paint color. With the exception of the paint color, which we did ourselves, we had a company in our town manage the project. It took twice as long as they originally estimated, putting us out for two months - but the end result is beautiful!

I wanted a gray/white/purple color scheme, with white tile, sinks, tub, and toilet, medium/dark gray cabinetry, and purple walls. I had them lay the square floor tiles diagonally, and the matching "subway" style shower tile in a herringbone pattern - because I love how dynamic those lines look when they aren't set up in the typical boring parallel/perpendicular way.

For the paint color, I didn't want to go too "girlie" with the purple color - but I still wanted something bright as a contrast to the neutral white/gray everywhere else in the bathroom. I tried to pick a purple that had some gray in it, and one that was also light enough that it didn't make this windowless bathroom too dark - since the gray cabinets already added to the darkness.

Finally, I finished up the bathroom with some matching purple rugs and towels, and by creating a custom piece of art for the wall.

And now (since you're dying to see them, I'm sure!), here are the photos!

Before the renovation:

At the start of the renovation, after they tore everything out:

The finished room - with awesome tiles and more cabinet space!

I decided that I needed some vertical artwork for the wall near the bathroom/tub, and when I couldn't find anything in the colors/style I wanted to, I made it myself.

I picked out a white frame that would hold four small paintings. Then, using some small pieces of paper torn from a watercolor sketch book, I went about making the paintings. Even though my frame would only hold four, I made six small pieces - knowing that some would turn out better than others, and that I would want options to choose from.

I wanted to do an abstract style, and I wanted to incorporate the white of the tub, toilet, tile and counters, the light gray veins in the tile and counter, the color of the darker gray cabinetry, the color and shiny chrome texture of the silver faucets, towel racks, and lighting fixtures, and a nice purple to go with the purple color we painted the walls. I also really liked the abstract leaf-print shower curtain we found (which had simple leaf-shapes in shades of purples and grays), and wanted to incorporate some leaf-like shapes into the design as well.

I taped down my six small pieces of paper with masking tape, so they wouldn't curl up too much when I got them wet with paint.

For the first layer, I used black India ink, super pigmented purple ink, and iridescent acrylic medium - which you would usually mix with acrylic paint, but which I just used straight from the jar for a sparkly/metallic look.

Then, I just went to town. I layered wet washes of ink with thinner brush strokes. I used the iridescent medium to just smear some areas with shine, and I used the black and purple inks to write/draw curvy lines and the hints of some leaf shapes.

I threw some cotton makeup rounds on there just to soak up some extra moisture while they were drying.

For the next layer, I used white pastel chalk, metallic silver and pink markers, and a thinner metallic silver pen to "collage" more leaf-shapes onto the paintings, and add visual interest.

Once I was satisfied and everything was dry, I pulled the masking tape off and chose which four of the six I would put in my frame.

Here's the final piece hanging in the bathroom!

I had a lot of fun "experimenting" with the abstract style for the artwork, and playing around with some art materials I don't usually use. It's exactly what I wanted to finish off our new bathroom.

Do you have a space that needs some custom artwork? I'd love to help you out! Leave a comment below or send me an email at afrownfe@gmail.com to let me know what you're thinking of. :)