Why Roses?

I was recently contacted by a high school student who read my thesis and was wondering why I'd chosen to use roses in my watercolor paintings. I've touched about that a little on here already, but today I thought I'd share the response I wrote to her, since I go into the rose in more detail.

She asked if I used the rose for personal reasons, just because I think it's a pretty flower, or if I feel as though it best represents the female anatomy.

I replied:

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I don't know if I would say the rose *best* represents female anatomy. It has been used historically to represent female genitalia in some cases, but in other cases it represents purity, chastity, almost the *absence* of female genitalia/female sexuality. In Northern Renaissance art, the rose and lily both became popular symbols for the Virgin Mary - and her anatomy is only important as it pertains to her ability to act as a vessel and to give birth (both passive activities), but not to be used for sex or self-expression or anything that might grant her agency. Throughout the Victorian era too, roses were very commonly used as symbols of sexual innocence and purity.

(I talk more about the negative symbolism of roses on my blog -
untilthewaterfalls.blogspot.com/2015/09/negative-symbolism.html)

I liked that ambiguity - the fact that the rose has been used as positive symbolism and negative symbolism both. I think it widens the variety of interpretations viewers might see in my work. 

If the rose is a stand-in for sexual purity, and my watercolors show that rose being stabbed with straight pins, it could indicate a desire to eradicate sexual purity - that is, the antiquated ideas about chastity and the double standards of sexuality the different genders face. If the rose is, on the other hand, a stand-in for sexuality and female genitalia, then the rose being stabbed demonstrates the desire many people (unfortunately) have to continue to restrain female sexuality and self-expression. The patriarchy. So-called "meninists." Anyone who is desperate to uphold the current systems of privilege and oppression so that men continue to benefit and women are limited.

As for personal reasons, I talk a lot on my blog about my struggle to find and maintain confidence (with sexuality, but also just in general). Particularly in this post -

untilthewaterfalls.blogspot.com/2015/09/feminine-layers.html

"When I started this painting, I wasn't necessarily thinking of flowers as symbols for female genitalia; I chose flowers and I chose patterns for aesthetic reasons. But as I painted, and as I started thinking about what drew me to that aesthetic choice, and as I heard what others in my class were saying about the painting during critique, I realized that I could create a pretty powerful message (or, rather, pretty powerful messages - because I don't believe any art can be or should be interpreted in only one way, even if the artist had one specific way in mind) if I used that well-known symbolism to guide a viewer's interpretation in a certain direction."

"I painted this watercolor when I was 20 years old. I had only had one boyfriend (and still have only had one relationship, for that boyfriend became the man I married), and had very little sexual experience. I was - and often still am - ashamed and mystified by my own body and by the idea of sex. I did not know how to talk about it or what to think about it. I understood that it would be great, would be liberating, to have positive feelings about my body and about sex, but I was not there yet (and would argue that I am still not there today, six years later)."

And in this post -

untilthewaterfalls.blogspot.com/2015/09/silk-caution-poisoned-rose.html

"I saw sex (in general) and my vagina (specifically) as shameful and mortifying. Still, I happily, willingly, and actively participated in my own sexual repression because I thought it's what I was supposed to do, what good girls did, what good Christians did. I was even kind of perversely proud at the extent of my vagina's "purity" - that it had never even been besmirched by my own fingers or a tampon."

"And then I took a Humanities class my senior year of high school, and I learned about other religions and historical attitudes and I started considering the negative side of gender roles for the first time. And then, as I grew enlightened and liberated in my thinking, I also grew ashamed and mortified of my shame and mortification. I decided everything I had grown up believing was wrong. I decided I wanted to figure out how to use tampons and I wanted to have sex and I wanted to explore my body and find confidence in my sexuality and I wanted to experience an orgasm. I also decided that my Christian upbringing was at least partly at fault for the attitudes I had about myself and my sexuality, a realization that led to (but was not the sole reasoning behind) my decision to step away from Christianity. I realized that I no longer believed in God. I tried to have faith in myself, instead."

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Though I don't mention roses specifically, I think it's clear that I was looking at the negative symbolism of roses. I've always liked roses and sort of identified with them, probably because of their connection with purity, chastity, sexual innocence.

Also, there was the simple fact that roses are easy to come by at any florist shop, so they were easy for me to acquire and work from. I do like their shape, and had some experience painting roses already, which was helpful. There are plenty of cultivated varieties to work from, which gives me a wide range of choice for composition, even while staying within the rose family. And because roses are so ubiquitous, everyone is able to recognize them.

As with any decision we make in our lives, there's not really *one* reason I chose to use the rose in my paintings.

Hope that helps! There's a lot more about my thesis on that blog too, if you just click around and read the blog posts with the "thesis" label.

Let me know if you have any further questions. :)

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I love talking about my artwork, so if you have any of you have any questions, hit me up! I'd love to start a conversation.

It's Not a Step Back, but a Reevaluation

I've been busy with editing my novel manuscript lately, so I haven't done much artwork, and the artwork I have done are small 4x6, 5x7, or 8x10 works. (The leaf paintings I've been posting about the last several days were completed a few weeks ago - they were being flattened under stacks of heavy books for awhile, and then I had to mat them and take all the photographs and I only just recently got them up here on the blog and on Etsy.)

It's been a couple months since I started those two larger patterned rose paintings and for several weeks I've kind of been "stuck" - procrastinating on working on them.

2 Rose Watercolor Paintings In Progress - by Andrea Arbit

The reason for my stalling is this - I'm at a point with these paintings where I've put so many layers down that it's hard to see the pencil lines underneath, particularly in the centers of the roses, where the shadows are darker. These paintings are not stapled down, so I could easily redraw some of those lines (maybe even try to retrace them, if the autumn-winter sun would ever be bright enough to penetrate through the layers of paint and let me). But that seems like extra work - to go back to the drafting and planning part of the painting. And I haven't felt like taking that step backward.

I mean, the solution is clear - swallow my pride and take the extra hour to "replan" where to go from here. Consider the pieces as a whole and make decisions and plot a course for bringing these "in progress" paintings into the end-zone. I just haven't wanted to take the time to do that.

It occurred to me that this is not unlike where I'm at with editing my manuscript. I've already planned out the story and used that plan to write the story. I've even already edited it (several times). But now I'm going through and re-reading it again, so that I can evaluate what's working and what isn't, and pare things down to let the essence better shine through. And maybe it's just the nature of the beast that the editing is more tedious and less fun than the writing parts, but also I think I haven't been enjoying it as much because I keep getting into this mindset that going through and making these edits is a "step back." I think - I should have gotten this right the first time, but instead I have to go back through and revisit it. And of course it's not going to be enjoyable if I think about it like that!

Lately I've been trying to focus on the parts that are working. It's not that I should have just "written it right the first time" - it's that I did write it right the first time, but then I covered up the good stuff with mediocre stuff like a pirate burying his treasure, and now I'm digging back through to uncover the treasure and let it shine. It's not really a step back, it's just part of the process.

And I need to think about my larger artworks in that same way. It's not a step back to look at the painting as a whole and make decisions about where it needs to go from here. I did it all the time in my college studio classes - we were required to. We even had to do it in front of everyone. We all hung our paintings on the wall and critiqued our own stuff and critiqued each other's stuff, while it was still in progress, so that we could incorporate critique epiphanies into the painting before it was too overworked to allow further changes. In the case of art critique, it is literally a step back, since we walk away from the piece to see what is working from a distance, but it is not metaphorically a step back - as in, progress the "wrong way." It's just part of the process. Reevaluation is necessary to get to the finished product. No one "gets it right" the first time without taking that reevaluation step.

Life is often interpreted as a race. We start at the starting blocks and end at the finish line. Time is linear. We march forward along its line, and that's it. But who actually lives life that way? (And how boring would it be if we did?) Life is more like a dance than a race. We're not always moving in the same direction. We turn, we spin. We double back. And that's okay.

Completing projects are like little lives - whether they're manuscripts being written or watercolors being painted. They don't surge forward without break, without consideration, without the occasional pause to reevaluate where they're going. I need to stop thinking about these breaks as taking a step back (as if that were a bad thing!) and I need to stop letting myself procrastinating working through the important things that need to be recognized and dealt with. It has to be done, but it doesn't have to be a chore, and it's certainly not worth getting anxious about.

Finished 4"x6" Leaf Paintings

Just like with the 8"x10" paintings I posted about yesterday, I ironed these 4"x6"s to get them flat, and then abandoned them under a stack of heavy books for several days. Then I put white mats on them (5"x7" size).

I decided to sell them as a set (because they're small and would look kind of lonely by themselves), so here is the listing on Etsy!

"Fallen Leaves I" & "Fallen Leaves II"

And here are some detail shots -

I listed the watercolor and colored pencil colors on the backs of the paintings (just like I did for the full-size 8"x10"s). The fronts were left unsigned so that they can be displayed horizontally or vertically in any direction.

They're ready for 5"x7" frames! Buy the set for only $49 on Etsy. These are the original one-of-a-kind watercolor/colored pencil collages - not prints! :)

Alright, I think 5 posts is enough about these leaf paintings. :) I'll post something new tomorrow.

Finished 8"x10" Leaf Paintings

So now that you've seen me go through the process of how I made these leaf paintings, you can really appreciate the final product. Right? :)

I ironed the paintings so that the edges were flat, and then I flattened them under a stack of heavy books for several days. Then, I matted them and photographed them to upload to Etsy. Each of these 8"x10" paintings comes with a white Crescent brand 11"x14" mat suitable for framing.

Here is "Autumn Leaves I" (available for sale here):

And some close-ups -

On the back of the painting, I listed the watercolor pigments and colored pencils used, and signed/dated it. I left the front unsigned so that it can be hung horizontally or vertically, in any direction.

Here is "Autumn Leaves II" (available for sale here):

And the close-up photos -

And the list of watercolors and colored pencils used on the back (same as for the other painting) -

They're listed on Etsy separately, but I think they'd also look great together as a set. Here they are together -

I'll show off the 4"x6" set of leaf paintings (after ironing, flattening, and matting) in a post tomorrow.

Leaf Paintings - Post 3

Here are the last "in process" photos of the leaf paintings I created (which I started demonstrating in the previous two posts).

(The finished products - 2 8"x10" paintings and 2 4"x6" paintings can be found on sale here.)

So after I was finished with the watercoloring, this is what the four paintings looked like. As I mentioned, I liked two of them a lot better than the other two. Can you tell which ones?

(The bottom two. I liked the bottom two.)

I had a plan for the top ones, so that all would not be lost. But first, I stopped to take some photos. From this angle, you can really see how wonky/curly the edges got. I really should have taped or stapled them to my gatorboard instead of just sitting them on top.

Here are some close-ups of my faves:

I took those two that I liked and I added a bit of colored pencil. I used four colors to match the four pigments of watercolor used. Here are the finished products. 2 8"x10" watercolors, surrounded by the materials used to create them: the 4 colored pencils, the 4 watercolors, my watercolor brush, the watercolor paper pad, the blue notebook I used to flatten the leaves, the leaves themselves, and even my pencil sharpener and little ceramic bowl of pencil shavings. (I had to put all those things around the corners to keep the watercolors flat enough to take the pictures!)

And here are the close-ups I know you want to see -

I think they turned out pretty great!

As for the two other paintings, I cut the parts of them that I did like into 4"x6" rectangles and turned them into smaller paintings. Then, I did the same thing I did with the larger ones, only using two colors of colored pencils instead of 4.

The finished 4"x6"s -

And some close-up shots -

If you are interesting in purchasing these paintings, check out my Etsy shop here!

Leaf Paintings - Post 2

Yesterday I started describing the process for creating my fall leaf paintings, and today I have a lot more photos to show you.

(The finished products - 2 8"x10" paintings and 2 4"x6" paintings can be found on sale here.)

As I showed yesterday, I put some masking down on the paper to preserve some areas before I painted over with any pigments. After all of the paint for that first red-orange-yellow layer was dry, I peeled the masking fluid off.

Because I was working on four paintings at once, some paintings were still getting their "first round" of stamping done while I peeled off the masking fluid and moved on with those that were ready.

Once the masking fluid was all removed, I was ready to stamp some more. This time I added in green for a focal point to stand out against the red-orange-yellow background. I also used a greater variety of leaf sizes and shapes, and tried to leave the leaves on longer, so they would be darker and crisper, with visible outlines, leaf stems, and veins.

To help secure the leaves in place while the pigment was transferring, I put things on top of the leaves, like boxes of playing cards and the bottle of masking fluid (whatever I had handy at the table I was working at).

Here you can see some of the darker orange and yellow leaves, after they'd been sitting for some time.

I also found that wetting the leaves on the opposite side (pushing on the opposite side with my watercolor brush) helped to push the pigment off the leaves and onto the paper.

The first two that got to this second stage of leaf stamping were okay - but not exactly what I was hoping for. You can see in the close-ups that the green leaves were actually left on the paper too long, giving them kind of a weird quality I didn't like. These were the two paintings that I eventually scraped or cut into smaller pieces for the 4"x6" paintings.

The last two paintings turned out better (I learned from my mistakes). Here are some close-ups of the last two paintings.

After all of them had been stamped with all four colors (red, orange, yellow, and green) and I was satisfied with the amount of paper covered in pigment vs. the amount of white paper still visible, I left them to dry overnight.

The next day, I went back through with colored pencil to emphasize some of the leaf shapes - but those photos are the story for tomorrow!

If you are interesting in purchasing these paintings, check out my Etsy shop here!