Poems and Song Lyrics

As a kid/pre-teen, I fancied myself a songwriter. I've always liked to sing (even if I'm not naturally great at it), and I've always liked to write, so it seemed obvious to merge the two. I wrote little songs and then went out in the backyard and sat on a swing and sang them. I sang them for myself. I didn't share them with anyone else - except occasionally my best friend (who has legitimate singing talent). A lot of the songs were written on separate pieces of paper, or torn out of journals and then rewritten in again at a later date, but I tried my best to recreate them and put them in a general order.

These are all from middle school and early high school. Some are just me being silly, and some are just being overly dramatic/maudlin, because I was a teenage girl trying to be emo and a songwriter, but others exactly pinpointed how I felt. Some of them even still ring true today.

What I think Heaven Will Be Like

Streets of red carpet lead me to his throne of gold

So many dreams on this silver lining that never get old

My eyes are blinded by his presence

So light, so bright, beautiful essence

Long white robes, with silver sashes

No one smokes here, no trays of ashes

Lavender flowers in my hair

Some people aren’t here – not fair!

But they got a chance

God gave them a gift

If they chose to ignore it

They won’t be lift (ed)

No psychics, freaks, or fortune tellers

No spirits, enemies, or soul sellers

Just the believers

Heaven

Untitled

I’ve been busy

Getting dizzy

All wound up

In the things of this world

I should be telling the Word

‘Til evil’s heard

But I’m bad

So make me a better girl

Change my body

Save my soul

Cleanse my mind

Get on a roll

Fix my life

Help my heart

Lend a hand

And do my part

Attitude adjustment

New testament

Lord, forgive me

I repent

I am free

Breathe

Back up

Break up

What’re you trying to do?

Smother me?

Leave me

Let me breathe

Inhale

Exhale

But you’re in my face

Like a plastic bag

You need a warning label

Keep out of reach from children

This product can cause suffocation

Handle with care

I need a breath of fresh air

For crying out loud

Let me loose

Cut off the leash

Let me go

Let me breathe

You

I’m only human

But I try

To do my best

I’m trusting You

To do the rest

Help me, please

For I am a mere mortal

And You are God

Today Ain’t Like Yesterday

Today ain’t like yesterday at all

Days creep by like school in the fall

The universe’s too big

And we are too small

Today ain’t like yesterday

Today ain’t like yesterday at all

Yesterday the day was full of fun

Yesterday we flew towards the sun

But today is cold and full of dread

And there’s a storm cloud in my head

So today ain’t like yesterday

Vision

A dream will die

No lie

If you don’t feed it

A dream will go

You know

If you don’t need it

Without vision

People perish

Day doesn’t dawn anew

Without vision

People perish

Smoke, flame, ash, too

A Lonely Song

All I ever say is “au revoir”

Sitting here strumming my guitar

All I ever say is “so long”

Singing a song

A lonely song

Mortal

I’m not supposed to feel

I’m not supposed to care

So why am I worrying?

I should be above this stuff

This human emotion

I’m better than this

I can’t possibly have

Stooped down so low

As to love you

Look what you’ve done to me

You’ve changed who I am

You took an uncaring person

And made me mortal

Maybe One Day

Maybe one day I’ll be a star

Maybe one day I’ll play guitar

Maybe one day I’ll go far

Maybe one day I’ll be who you are

But for now I guess I’m stuck being me

Maybe one day that’ll make me happy

Maybe one day I’ll be proud of myself

Maybe one day I’ll like the cards I’ve been dealt

But for now I guess I’m here

Sitting here, hoping that

Maybe that one day is near

From the Outside, Looking In

You’re on the outside, looking in

I’m on the inside, looking out

I don’t know how you perceive me

Can you tell me what this is about?

I can only see myself when I gaze in my mirror

While you can see me from a new perspective

You’re father away, maybe, not as near

But you can see me still, so tell me – I’m no detective

I may see myself one way

But does that show in what I say

How do you see me?

Tell me!

I don’t know what shows

From the outside, looking in…

A Stupid Mistake I’ll Make

Cosine theta times sine two beta is something I can take

But on the last line: two times nine – a stupid mistake I’ll make

A gourmet lunch, a buffet brunch is something I can bake

But I hate to boast, ‘cuz with toast – a stupid mistake I’ll make

Why? Oh why? I cry! I try!

I do my best, but on the rest

I’ll always make a stupid mistake

Instead of a smoothie I’ll make a shake

Instead of a pond I’ll call it a lake

Instead of asleep I’ll stay awake

Instead of a diamond I’ll buy a fake

Instead of a shovel I’ll grab a rake

Instead of the gas I’ll use the brake

Instead of some cookies I’ll make a cake

Instead of Jack I’ll call him Jake

A stupid mistake I’ll make

Purple Phone

I got a purple phone

And it sits all alone

On my table

Hey don’t get up to leave

C’mon you gotta believe

This ain’t a fable

Yeah, it’s true

I dyed it red and blue

And now it’s purple

Oh, oh, it’s purple

I got your number here

But I just can’t dial it

With my phone sitting there

Looking so violet

It’s screaming to me

“It’s not meant to be!

Don’t call Uncle Urple

‘Cuz I’m perfectly PURPLE!”

Try So Hard

Why do I try so hard?

Why do I care so much?

Why do I want this so bad?

When do I know when enough is enough?

This seed I planted years ago

Has decided to start to grow

But it’s taking over every part of me

I can’t have fun without feeling guilty

And this once-happy goal

Is taking over my soul

I’m at a crossroads here

After all these years

I’m sick of beating myself with my fist

I’m tired of being a perfectionist

I try too hard

I care too much

I want this too bad

Enough is enough

Raindrops

These are raindrops

Falling on my face

What do you mean it ain’t raining?

There’s rain all over the place

Can’t you see those dark clouds

Up high in the sky?

‘Cuz it ain’t me. I ain’t gunna cry.

These are God’s tears –

Not mine

So stop asking me how I am

I’m fine

Don’t tell me I’m a basketcase

These are just raindrops

Falling on my face

Momentary

Who I am now, who I am today

Might be different tomorrow

‘Cause each new day brings

New hope and new sorrow

Why can’t I just stop time

And claim this moment as mine?

My life speeds by so fast

The future becomes the past

It’s too quick to make any sense

Can’t I just seize life’s little moments

I don’t want to grow up

I don’t care what people say

I’m happy right now

So can’t I stay this way?

Bittersweet

I feel so elated

No longer second-rated

This is the highest I’ve ever been

But while I’m this high

I could fall from the sky

‘Cause what goes up

Must come down again

Take this moment of clarity

And add my harsh reality

Change a paradise to a parody

Even the best of times

Are bittersweet