Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Donate to Stop Domestic Abuse & Assault

In the past, I've volunteered at Haven, a local women's shelter for families recovering from domestic abuse. Every year they do a holiday gift-giving event where they collect donations of new clothing, winter coats, toys, board games, beauty products, electronics, etc. and let anyone who has used their services in the past year come by and take free gifts for their families. They have everything from baby toys and onesies to sporting equipment and teen-appropriate gifts like bath soaps and selfie sticks. They also have small kitchen appliances like microwaves and coffee makers. And they have a ton of donated winter coats - enough that every child gets a free winter coat.

Besides the holidays, they accept donations all year round. They're always in need of diapers and feminine hygiene products. They have strollers and clothes and toys and laundry detergent. They run a shelter, so they have to supply the families who come - often with nothing but what they were able to carry out of their homes in their arms - with all of their daily necessities.

It can be hard to find time to donate - I only helped sporadically with watching the children's play room while the mothers were in a group session down the hall until my schedule just couldn't allow it anymore - but it's easy to donate necessary items or money. Haven is working on building a new facility right now that will combine all of their resources into a single building - instead of having the shelter at one location, medical help at another, therapy at another, etc. - but all of that, of course, takes money.

What I loved most about Haven was the emphasis it put on empowerment. They can't help anyone who doesn't want to be helped; they can't drag them away from their abusive relationships kicking and screaming. They teach women how to be empowered, and how to get themselves out of the situation (instead of relying on others for help). The shelter is only there as a temporary solution - a place where they can go for financial and emotional support while they figure out the next steps they're going to take.

To those who think - but I live in a nice neighborhood, these things don't happen around me - you're wrong. I live in Oakland County, Michigan, one of the ten highest income counties in the U.S. with populations over one million people. We're surrounded by wealthy private and public schools, and colleges and universities. I don't have the specific numbers on education, but there's certainly lots of access to education for most Oakland County families. All races are represented (77% White, 13% Black, 6% Asian, 4% Hispanic/Latinx, 0.3% Native American). Oakland County has the 36th largest Asian population of any county in the country, and the 21st largest Jewish community in the nation. (All data from Wikipedia.)

As Oakland County's only comprehensive program for victims of domestic violence and sexual assault, Haven provides shelter, counseling, advocacy, and educational programming to nearly 30,000 people every year.

My point is - domestic violence and abuse doesn't care if you're poor or rich, Christian or Jewish or Muslim or atheist, white or black or Asian or Hispanic, gay or straight - it effects all of us. Because it's a problem with our culture, and it permeates all demographics.

I'm sure you all have your own charities you donate to this time of year (or throughout the year), but if you don't, or if you're looking for somewhere else to help, look to Haven, or other women's shelters. Find out where your local shelter is and what they need.

And if you would like more information about domestic violence, sexual assault, or child abuse - and what forms these things can take or what exactly it looks like, Haven has a great resource page.

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